shrikeseams:

eleneressea:

thinking about Aredhel—she goes to Celegorm and Curufin’s lands and stays there for a while waiting for them to come back, then gets bored and wanders off and eventually comes to Nan Elmoth (and we all know how that goes) but I was thinking: what if Celegorm went after her? He tracks her to Nan Elmoth eventually, and…

Eöl’s sorceries are powerful, but Celegorm has Huan with him and is blessed by Oromë, so I don’t think he gets nearly as turned around as Aredhel was. He finds her and Eöl, murders Eöl and burns down the forest behind him rescues her from his enchantments, and sends a letter to Maedhros going “found Aredhel, might have caused a diplomatic incident, also I may have a son now.”

#the fire was mostly an accident but only mostly#celegorm puts aredhel on huan’s back and carries baby maeglin himself#celegorm is the third of seven he knows how to carry small children#and maeglin is way less squirmy than ambarussa were#maedhros fully believes the diplomatic incident is eloping with aredhel until he learns the rest#maedhros the tired: why couldn’t you have just eloped. that would have been easier - @eleneressea​

Maedhros: Of course they had a baby before telling anyone. At least a grandson will soothe Fingolfi–wait. WHAT.

redreyenotarget:

Maedhros 🥰

lendmyboyfriendahand:

lotrhobbitsilmincorrectquotes:

Young and naive Maedhros: I hope something good happens

Adult and tired Maedhros: I hope whatever bad thing happens next is at least funny

.

Inspired by this post

#tolkien#ok but this raises the question:#which disaster is Maedhros version of ‘I miss when the big boat was stuck :(’#what is his Ever Given?

@shrikeseams

May I propose: Glaurung’s first attack.

What’s the problem?: Weird giant lizard is attacking people

Will this cause a political crisis?: No.

How will society solve this problem?: Fingon is attacking the weird lizard back

Is there anything I need to do in Himring?: No.

What are the expected long term consequences of this problem?: We know weird lizards exist now.

Did one of my family members cause this problem?: No! This is a pleasant surprise.

booreilly:

“Maedhros did deeds of surpassing valour, and the Orcs fled before his face; for since his torment upon Thangorodrim his spirit burned like a white fire within, and he was as one that returns from the dead.”

resentfully throwing this ginger mass murderer into the tumblr void because i’ve been trying to get his eyes right for weeks to no avail and now he’s been bumped down to my second favourite character accordingly.

shrikeseams:

eleneressea:

shrikeseams:

eleneressea:

what if Maedhros captured Elwing at the Second Kinslaying

#she’s what three? so he’s not going to kill her#and anyway why would he do that they’ve got the silmaril now#she’d probably get sent to cirdan/gil galad as soon as she’s old enough and beleriand is safe enough#but until then…kidnapdoption

Maedhros, who has a lot of experience with feral bitey children but not so much with little girls: This will be fine. It’s fine. We’re good with small children.

Elwing: 😈

#Tolkien#Firmly convinced that all of finwe AND elu’s descendants think that biting is the ideal way to solve problems#Until they’re the developmental equivalent of 10 or so#And unlike e&e elwing doesn’t have a vague understanding that the feanorians have a tradition of child murder#She is tiny and furious and miserable (and likely used to being very spoiled). No sense of danger to herself. Only rage.#In short she is the most difficult child maedhros has dealt with since galadriel

Maedhros, holding her out at arm’s length: it’s a shame Celegorm fell. He deserves to deal with a child this bitey. Do we know where Galadriel is? Can we make her Galadriel’s problem? Elwing is her niece by marriage, I think.

Maedhros is probably the most qualified of the sons of Fëanor to deal with a human baby. Most people were too scared to ask the Lord of Himring to babysit their children, but there were children around, and Maedhros loves babies, unlike Caranthir, who doesn’t have the patience, and the others had very few humans around in their lands. Curufin is technically more qualified on elvish babies, but Maedhros successfully (mostly) raised his six brothers and also Curufin is dead, so. Bit moot. At any rate Maedhros is aware of how fast human children grow and keeps reminding himself that it’s only for a decade, maybe a decade and a half, and then she’ll be full grown and they can send her to be someone else’s problem.

#elwing has fangs. reader’s choice whether that’s a) natural b) maia shapeshifting c) diligent sharpening#she bites with force and fury#also the nauglamir is super cursed (because a dragon took a nap on it) so that’s going to be a problem

Maedhros invented the child leash when Celegorm started walking (Finwe or Feanor or Nerdanel should have already, but they were all soft touches who would rather follow a free range toddler wherever it wanted to go). He has to reinforce the strap for Elwing to keep her from biting through it.

ladytp:

Magnificent ASOIAF art: Tyrell siblings by Denis Maznev in Instagram (source link)

thewitchqueenofharrenhal:

Growing Strong: Willas, Garlan, Loras & Margaery Tyrell

ennairea:

theequeerstrian:

flange5:

miraculouspaon:

GBBO: “A s’more is basically just an Italian merengue sandwiched between two ganache-covered digestives”

Americans:

Originally posted by fireheartaw

in case anyone in wondering, this is Paul Hollywood’s idea of a s'more

You know what, their absolute inability to grasp Mexican foods makes more sense every day

allovesthings:

You can say what you will about Brandon Stark, that he was incredibly reckless and made some terrible choices and that his death was awful, but I will never not respect him for looking at Little finger and says:“ you know what,I’m gonna take off the armor to defeat that guy” because it is both such a flex on Littlefinger and because it is so hilarious.

Go off king. He should have gone all the way and killed him for real (we could have it all..)

I would feel sorry for Littlefinger if he wasn’t a creep obsessed with Catelyn and if he didn’t kiss Brandon’s actual niece without her consent so I take my small revenge where I can

dreamerking27:

glumshoe:

arisuamichan:

glumshoe:

nitghowl1600:

down-sizing-redux:

glumshoe:

batfam-bro:

glumshoe:

tassjis:

glumshoe:

glumshoe:

jamisings:

glumshoe:

luckyladylily:

glumshoe:

glumshoe:

my best OC is Brad Wayne, Bruce’s illegitimate biological child via a totally normal woman he had a fling with when he was younger and didn’t stay in touch with

Brad grew up a totally normal kid, went to college, joined a frat, and decided to get in touch with Bruce, who now has an awkward situation on his hands

now the other Batkids have to deal with fucking Brad Wayne, whose normalacy is absolutely insufferable… he tells Dick to try yoga and suggests that Tim will sleep better if he gets more exercise… Bruce goes out of town and Brad decides it’s time to throw a house party with his frat friends

he’s so good

All of Brad’s Bat-siblings are absolutely unprepared to deal with him. They can’t handle it. They can’t even hate him properly, even Damien, because he’s just… he’s not even… he’s just Some Guy™️!

They’re all braced for the inevitable reveal that he’s a villain, an imposter, or an interloper there to usurp the Wayne fortune or spy on Batman. They have all sorts of plans to foil his schemes and the only thing they’re not able to prepare for is the fact that he’s just. Brad. He’s not a bad guy, but he’s not a saint, either—his problems are just so mundane, so ordinary.

They TRY to understand what his life is like, but how are they supposed to relate to someone who doesn’t text back because he’s hungover or his phone died, not because he’s tied up in a death trap somewhere being menaced by someone in a Halloween costume?

No one’s ever tried to ritually sacrifice him before and it shows.

Does he know they are the batfam? Or does he just think it is so cool that his dad has adopted all these kids that needed a home?

Oh he has no idea. Brad didn’t grow up in Gotham and isn’t really familiar with its culture, so he thinks it’s an ordinary city with ordinary problems (presumably there’s still a concept of ‘ordinary’ in the DCU).

When someone tries to tell him he laughs it off. Maybe one of his friends asks him about the popular rumor that Bruce Wayne is Batman, but he’s never even contemplated the possibility. Later he’s trying to coax Dick into playing beer pong and loudly tells the story to party guests as a funny anecdote. He thinks the whole concept of Batman is hilarious. Maybe he makes up stories about seeing Batman to impress his family and make himself sound cool.

Eventually though some bad guy who wants a huge ransom is going to kidnap Brad. What happens then? Does Batman call in a favor to one of the other members of the Justice League or does Damien go out and rescue his brother and tell him he’s the most useless of all his brothers because he’s so ordinary? Because you know if anyone is going to blab it’s going to be Damien.

Brad gets kidnapped and Steph and/or Cass rescue him in costume.

Later, in Wayne Manor, he tells his family all about how the Batgirls were totally flirting with him and how he managed to take out a few of the bad guys all by himself.

Brad Wayne: “Hey, do you guys think Batman fucks? Like, you think he has ever gotten laid?”

Dick, stiffly: “Um. Yes. I think so.”

Brad: “Really? Guy sounds like a turbo-virgin to me. I mean, he fights crime in a fursuit! Come on!”

Tim: “I have it on reasonable authority that Batman fucks. Unfortunately.”

Steph: “Hey, Damian. Penny for your thoughts?”

Frat Kid Brad Wayne

Brad: “Bro do you remember what Robin used to wear, back when we were kids? With like, those little feathery booty shorts?”

Dick: “Scaled. Not feathery. He wore an armored leotard.”

Brad: “Nah, man, they were totally feathery! ‘Cause robins have feathers. I never really understood that—why would Batman’s sidekick be themed after a songbird? Robins aren’t scary. They don’t fight crime, and they don’t come out at night. Why not ‘Batboy’ or ‘Owlkid’ or something?”

Dick: “I’m pretty sure Robin’s schtick was based off Robin Hood the outlaw, not the bird. That’s why he wore green, and had a uniform cleverly blending medieval costumery with, uh, acrobatic attire.”

Brad: “Whatever. I’m just saying, it was weird.”

Dick: “Not really? Look up classic strongman costumes and historical illustrations of Robin Hood. Or Google Jules Leotard.”

Brad: “But the bare legs! The pixie boots! Why would Batman let him wear that? It’s creepy.”

Dick: “It wasn’t! Look. It was a different time. In context, that costume was obviously heroic. Besides, he was a little kid. I’m sure he’d wear something different now.”

Jason: “Yeah, but didn’t he keep wearing the short pants until he was old enough to vote? I’m pretty sure I remember that Robin wearing the pixie boots through college… he must have spent a fortune getting his legs waxed. I think I’d die before I’d do that.”

Dick: “This is Gotham. People do weirder things all the time.”

Brad: “Haven’t there been a lot of Robins? What happens to them? Do they die and Batman just hopes no one will notice when they’re replaced?”

Dick: “I—”

Jason: “I think that’s exactly what happens. He’s probably got a whole cellar full of dead Robins.”

What do you think would happen when he saw Jason’s gun collection? Cause Brad would at some point want to see where his adult siblings live and Jason probably just leaves his guns on whatever surface is clean. I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s one in the fridge from when he went to get a beer last night. And Brad already suspicious just opens up the fridge and there’s a loaded gun and maybe a granade just staring at him when he goes to grab Jason a beer.

Honestly? I doubt he’d think much of it. He’d probably assume Jason was some kind of stockpiler with an extreme paranoid political bent, which are all too common, and suggest that he get a gun locker or twenty for safety—imagine if Damian were to come over, and there were unsecured guns, just think! You hear sad stories about little kids finding guns and playing with them all the time.

“Look, bro, I’m all for your second amendment rights. My LB in TKE wound up leading the campus conservative club, and we still hang. But, like, I worry about Damien and Tim, y'know? Shit happens when kids clown around.”

Brad is my new favorite batkid everyone else can leave.

Brad, wandering out of the shower: “Wassup, T-man? You lose a fight to poison ivy or something?”

Tim, frozen in surprise: “H-how did… how did you know?”

Brad: “I’d know those blisters anywhere! My roommate freshman year had to go on steroids, he got it so bad. All over his ass. Almost got him kicked off the team ‘cause no one believed him until he dropped trou right on the field. Ever tried Tecnu Gel?”

But does the Tecnu Gel help tim? Does brad have seemingly random health items in his medicine chest bc “you never know what might happen to you?” have his frat bros gotten hurt doing stupid things and did those events lead brad to be like “I got a splint and some Advil in my car hang tight!” @glumshoe

I want to say yes just because the idea of Tecnu being useful against supervillains is very funny to me.

I imagine Brad is very familiar with sports injuries and alcohol poisoning, in ways that actually prove helpful to the Bat clan with surprising regularity. Maybe one of the guys gets the shit beaten out of him and tries to hide it, but Brad notices how stiff he is and is like, “I got you bro! Sit down, I’ll rub your back. No homo. I mean, unless you’re gay, that’s cool too, I mean hell, I’ve fooled around a bit with the team and I think I might be bi, but you’re still my bro even if you’re adopted, so nah. Haha damn dude, your shoulders are gnarly. You gotta stretch that shit!”

Also I just like the idea of him referring to The Joker as “Pennywise” by mistake.

I’m wondering how Damian reacts to having an older (half) brother by blood, because it sort of… cancels out his whole “I’m the only blood son” thing, right? So imagine Brad shows up like, two months after Damian, “heard we were doing this now” and overnight Damian’s just… a different person.

damian: if i’m not your heir i suppose i have no reason to impress you

brad: oh sorry lil bro i wasn’t trying to steal your spot!

damian: *deep sigh* it’s fine, guess i’ll just get my money by becoming a world renowned artist by the age of ten now

bruce: i intend to provide for all of my children, dami, there’s no need for that

damian, walking by with [insert art award] in his hand: too late.

And Brad grew up as an only child and all his new siblings are insanely talented, and he would be jealous if he grew up with them, but instead he’s just the Most Supportive.

He brings his entire frat to sit in the front row of Cass’s ballet show and they give her a standing (and hooting and hollering) ovation. Tim gets featured in a photography exhibit? Brad’s freshman year roommate’s mom runs a photography studio here’s an internship for you. Dick, why aren’t you in the Olympics? You’re in the Olympics now. (None of his siblings have time for this, but he doesn’t know that.)

acourtofwips:

You Are the Night and I am Your Dream ((excerpt))

Reimagining Feyre and Rhys’ first meeting at the SC.. 

I have not decided if I’ll use this in the actual fic or not ;0;

X

Feyre looked up and right into the violet eyes she had come to know too well, her breath catching in her throat even as her lips parted as if to speak but no words came out.

Immediately she saw the memories in flashes: that bed with its black silk sheets, the view of a breathtaking city of light, the music that flowed into the room, almost too quiet to be heard… his lips kissing down her neck, his hands caressing every part of her, his body as it moved against hers, his soft breath in her ear as he whispered her name over and over like a mantra.

Keep reading

consumptive-sphinx:

consumptive-sphinx:

consumptive-sphinx:

consumptive-sphinx:

consumptive-sphinx:

consumptive-sphinx:

Concept: the Silmarillion, in the style of Lemony Snicket

“Stealing, of course, is a crime, and a very impolite thing to do. But like most impolite things, it is excusable under certain circumstances. Stealing is not excusable if, for instance, you are in a workshop and you decide that the Silmarils would look better in your crown, and you simply grab the Silmarils and take them there. But if you were very, very hungry, and you had no way of obtaining money, it would be excusable to grab the Silmarils, take them to your fortress, and eat them.”

“Finrod was an Arafinwean, a word which here means ‘lithe blonde twink who, for some reason, everybody in the entire world except for Celegorm seems to underestimate.’

Curufin was smitten, a word which here means ‘not Celegorm.’”

“Now, “in the dark” is a term meaning that one is not aware of something that is going on, and has very little to do with physical light, or the lack of such a thing. If it is a bright sunny day and you are sitting in a park and you have no idea that buried beneath your picnic spot is a treasure chest then you are in the dark not in the dark, and if it is the dead of night and you are traipsing through the woods and you are entirely aware that you are being followed by a troupe of ballerinas then you are not in the dark in the dark, and if you are sitting at your kitchen table working and you are so intent on your work that you do not even realize night has fallen then you are in the dark about being in the dark in the dark, until you look up and find yourself no longer in the dark about being in the dark in the dark. And immediately after Melkor extinguished the Trees, all of Valinor found itself very comprehensively in the dark.“

“Fingolfin was an optimist, a word which here means ‘attempting to make amends with his half-brother who has just threatened him with a sword.’

Fingolfin was an optimist, a word which here means ‘willing to trust his half-brother to bring him across an ocean in the boats they have just stolen together.’

Fingolfin was an optimist, a word which here means ‘about to cross an ice bridge, having previously turned back because such a thing was clearly impossible.’

Fingolfin was an optimist, a word which here means ‘about to charge an evil god and stab him with a sword.’

Fingolfin was an optimist, a word which here means ‘dead.’”

“If you are allergic to a thing, it is best not to put that thing in your mouth, particularly if the thing is cats, or, in Finrod’s case, werewolves.”

runawaymun:

kanalaure:

deadqueernoldor:

runawaymun:

Also a concept: Maedhros riding a moose because if you’re that tall and armored you’re heavy as shit.

1. Yes.

2. “Orcs fled before his face” wasnt only a hint at his prowess in battle but also a hint that he rode a moose (7ft shoulder height and ¾ of a metric ton of weight). I’d book it too if a giant redhead rode toward me with fire in his eyes on a spiky horse which’s natural predator is the orca whale.

3. That implies also that Maglor could ride reindeer or moose in the Gap, especially during winter. What I’m thinking is reindeer army. Or kinslayer Santa.

having seen a video of a moose running through six feet of snow like it was air, i am 100% willing to believe they might use moose as transportation and/or snowplows

moose are not what i would call “domesticated” so i don’t know i’d say they’re the standard option up there, that’s still probably horses (and maybe reindeer? i kind of like the idea, now that im thinking about it. they’re rideable, adapted to the climate, AND have antlers (built in anti-orc defense system!!), and im pretty sure theyre hardier than horses because most things are, though i couldnt speak to how well they’d do being ridden into battles), but elves do have a way with animals and i wouldnt be surprised if there were a couple hanging around the gap and himring that someone had made friends with

No but literally they Just Make Sense. The saddle would take some work but it’s like riding a tank. The moose could plow through orcs as easily as a seven foot snowdrift.

This thought literally hasn’t left me alone all day so ugh rough sketch